another frustration filled day. went to sch head heavy, down with flu and heart heavy. walk with that slight tremble in every step and difficult in breathing.

carrying loads of stuff and bought 100 over bucks worth of books which add on to my load.
stepped into campus feeling lost and sick. look around for familiar faces, i found none. feels like everyone is in their own world. and i feel so marginalised.

went to jap lec and came out confused and stressed. head feels heavier than ever. head off to meet john at a meeting place that i wasn't informed of. frustrated and left out, met john at the new deck. was feeling teary and very lost in the noisy environment. feels as though i dun belong to that place.

had a really nice talk with john, a new churchie fren, a man of God. =) made me feel better some how. gonna miss talking to my newfound churchie. hope he'll do fine in the states.. and lets see if he comes back a year later with a blonde chick in his arms. :)

left to go aunt's place. and cant seem to control the tears from dropping. issues of the heart i would say. i thought about alot of things. our past, present and future.
and for every decision i make to reject, i put tonnes of faith and trust that given the same situation, my partner would respect me and do the same. at the same time, i'm honestly afraid that i'm making a wrong decision to put in so much faith and trust.
for every guy that i tell him about, i trust that given the same situation, he will also do the same.
for all these, i did it, swearing by my loyalty and faithfulness principle. the precious principles that i live by.

thank God the night ended well. had some nice talk and had our magical moment again.
dun disappoint me again baby. i put my trust in u. :) ily.